Bread clever.

A kind soul dropped a small polythene bag on the floor of the bakery section of Asda and I’ve just managed to slip impressively on it for quite some distance.

Fortunately I managed to turn it into something quite balletic and was seen to glide the length of the aisle with the grace and majesty of a butterfly, it was a scene from scone lake and I was rasin eyebrows, I was the current star, the crust of the North and the audience would fall instantly in loaf.

To me I was the picture of elegance as I near floated across the stage, to everyone else I was a pink hippo surfing a bin liner, but art is very subjective isn’t it, and they can kiss my buns.

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